the heart bounces and the aches creak
in the night i hear my gran-mother speak 'i'm tired - it's so hot Tracey'
she aches and she screams quietly unable to see me - sending me home

and for some reason - well perhaps for many
this makes me cry

and the day was filled with work and i spoke to a girl like me (or like i used to be?) who dreams in colour of revolution and better systems and oooo the complexity such minds must contemplate - must try and sink in and the million pieces and the processes --- and wishing for some anarchy so we could feel represented in the big decisions being made, because we see a side to the money that seems to be degrading
and there are so many complaints i can make about how this society degrades the good.

it blows my mind.

because i find that the criticism just cuts - it tries to put forward grand schemes of how it would be better but i guess i'm just not so convinced anymore that thinking up great alternatives with my circle of common thinkers is going to be so helpful - especially when it holds me to my beliefs and says why aren't you building something different?

what would i build?